No one did nothing wrong, but me. I fight with my inner self, but i have no idea how to express it to anyone. my total demise comes from what i see within myself rather than what is against the world. i am blinded by a blurred forced, i am still unsure how i drove back to the dorms tonight.

someone once told me that people never change. they told me that they can't. i am starting to believe it. i have not been this angry or this confused in emotion since high school. what is happening to me? all that i hold dear is miles away. Ok, in all honesty my support is about a two hours away, yet i feel as though i am a million miles gone...from the surface of the earth. how real is this moment? can i go back and change what has been done? i hope that i wake up tomorrow to find that it was all a twisted dream that is so real i am confused as to what is reality and what is a dream.

below is the black whole that leads down an endless tunnel of night. some how i have tripped and fallen into it, desperately holding on to the edge, praying that someone would hear my cries to grab my hand and pull me back up, but no one is in hearing distance, or they don't care.

it hurt. it hurt to tell my friends to stay away from me right now, when all i want to do is yell, through punches, and cry. i don't want to hurt them as i hurt myself...not phyically, but inside there is a battle going on that i am not winning.


who gives a shit?